You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
