you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize