I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he thought i was a dude.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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