I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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