she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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