how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
