She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
