judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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