There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
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