Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
4 words: hood of his car
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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