I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
