don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
