I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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