We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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