Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
