So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
