i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
