Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
