I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
