We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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