I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
