I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
