I want to have your abortion
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
