1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
