I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
