dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
