Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize