Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
