Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
