On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
she smelled like a LAN party
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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