she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
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