I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
