Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize