I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
