you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
