I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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