His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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