I like to think it a success when the cops are called
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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