Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize
