Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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