I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
