what day is it and did you see me today?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
