At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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