whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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