I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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