ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
my poor anus
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
