i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
