For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
