last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
