11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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