It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
