what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize