singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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