don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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