If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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