last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
