My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
