He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
